Tag: rant
Workout Playlist
by Joe Lauzon on Dec.01, 2009, under Blog
Someone on twitter asked me what the first song on my workout playlist was. I thought it was a pretty good question so I decided to put up the current playlist I train to on here. I change this around all the time and add in new and old songs and mix it up… but this is what I will be working out to tonight. (continue reading…)
A Poor Comparison
by Joe Lauzon on Jul.30, 2009, under Blog
Not everyone is on board with Mixed Martial Arts yet, but more and more sports fans are getting accustomed to our sport. With the increased popularity of the sport, it’s becoming mainstream and it’s just getting started. (continue reading…)
Lorenzo is the rain man of Spin-N-Win
by Joe Lauzon on May.07, 2009, under Blog, Videos
A bunch of the guys from my gym went to Dave and Busters last night. For those that don’t know, D&B is a bar/restaurant/arcade. We went and grabbed some dinner and then hit up games for a few hours. Early in the night April did the Spin-N-Win and won a thousand tickets. She was all pumped and we were too… because it was like her 5th play and she had so many tickets they had to reload the machine. (continue reading…)
St Patty’s Day 2009
by Joe Lauzon on Mar.20, 2009, under Blog, Videos

We went into Boston for St Patty’s Day this year. Dana White posted a House of Pain concert at the Roxy and we had an awesome time. Here are a few videos… which have terrible language throughout… so little kids… go play on Noggin or something.
A weekend on the Big Island
by Joe Lauzon on Oct.16, 2007, under Blog, Videos
Another week on the Big Island and another update. This weekend was a good time. We had great training all week and then Friday came and it was time to take it a little bit easier. I went and saw Ratatouille with Timmy and his girlfriend. For those of you that haven’t seen it, you should skip it. I blame Greg for making the mistake of going to see it, because he said it was pretty good. We SHOULD have seen Transformers again. Never make that mistake again. Moment of weakness on trying something new…
After the movie, I went out with Hoyt to the Palms and met up with Junior, Larry, Regan and some others. I put out my hand to shake Regans hand he armdragged me across the table and tried to wrist lock me. And people think I’m not training out here. Hanging with the Penns… you are always training. It ended up being an early night because we had training in the morning.
After training we went to a party on the beach and then to a bachelor party for JD, BJ’s brother . That was a good time, and then we went out after to Palms and Detour. Got my ass handed to me in pool a few times and called it a night.
On Sunday we went to Ka Lae and then Mahana Beach. Ka Lae is also known as South Point and is the southern most point on the Big Island and is also the furthest point South you can go in the United States.
We jumped from some ledges into the water, which was the saltiest I have ever been in. I didn’t get water in my mouth and I could still taste the salt. There was also a hole that you could jump down into and land inside a cave.
The water was like a toilet because as the tide went in and out the water level would change. Every 5 or 10 seconds, the water level would change by about 10 feet or so. I skipped out on Jumping into the hole because after everyone heard about jumping from the bridges a couple weeks ago, I promised I would stop doing “stupid stuff” until after my fight. Normally Tony is trying to get me to do things, but even he said something along the lines of “Yah, better to wait… could make a mistake and get really F’ed up on that one”. If Tony is telling me its a good idea to not do it, I’m gonna listen.
After South Point, we went to the Mahana Beach, which is the “Green Sand Beach”. We had to walk about 2 miles to get to the beach but it was a pretty good walk along the water.
The sand at Mahana Beach is green because there is a large deposit of Olivine. I took a few pictures and in some you can see how its green, but in others it looks like normal sand. I think my camera thought the color balance was off and made the pictures less green. You get the idea though.
We don’t just train for the ring, cage or street… we train for the beach! So never wanting to miss a chance to train, Brian and I had the first “Green Beach Takedown Tournament” hosted, reffed and video taped by Tony DeSouza.
Not happy about how the first tournament ended… an immediate rematch was granted.
Shameless Plug, hah.
And last, but certainly not least… the Pats whooped the Cowboys. Great weekend overall.
TUF5 Blog – Episode 7
by Joe Lauzon on May.18, 2007, under Blog
The theme of this episode was "Say what you mean and mean what you say". In this week’s episode, we have all kinds of people making claims that they really don’t back up.
Wang would give a good effort in training, but a lot of times he wouldn’t be listening to instructions while training. We would be drilling, and he would not listen to advice from coaches on what to do. He would be rolling and training with people, and BJ would tell him thats good stop and he would constantly be saying "one more round, one more round, I am good". These are the things that really pissed BJ off, and that started to wear on him. Gabe told us from the first day that Andy would not listen, and would brawl. So we tried to make him more receptive in training sessions, giving him advice and telling him what to do, but it all fell on deaf ears.
BJ said "Everyone likes a winner, nobody likes a loser. Its done, I don’t care how you did". As a team we felt that Wang gave his fight away. He is great on the ground but refused to take the fight there, where Brandon is weakest. We were particularly upset because we drilled him into Wang how important it was that he take the fight to the ground, and that he needed to follow the game plan. Going into the fight, we were hopeful that he would work to get the fight on the ground, but we all knew he wouldn’t. This left a real sour taste in everyone mouth, particularly the coaches. Wang was apologizing to us, and then in the next breath talking about how it was a great fight and he "left it all in the cage". At one point, one of the producers was talking to us in the back room, and all Andy cared about was what the producer thought of the fight, and if Dana liked the fight. "I hope Dana liked my fight." "It was a good fight." "I left it all in the cage." This is all we heard out of Wang when he wasn’t apologizing. BJ respects guys winning fights… not guys giving the fight away in an attempt to be ballsy. If Wang had listened, the fight would have gone much differently.
I think my fight was kind of a tipping point on everything with Wang. We had two guys that should win their fights…. one didn’t listen and he lost his fight, while the other listened and won convincingly. I think my fight showed BJ what Wang’s fight could have been, and it was salt in the wound to sit there and watch Wang talk about his fight and how "good" it was. There was nothing good about it… he lost. Winning is all that matters, and he didn’t win. End of story.
BJ acted like the general that Dana wanted, and took control of the team. He saw Wang as a problem within the team, and he got rid of him. I thought it was a little harsh, but the way things were going, something needed to change. At first, I thought it was a joke. I was sitting on the mat taping up my ankle and laughing to myself about the whole thing. I started working out with Reagan and I kept telling him "I put nothing past you guys" and then he started laughing at me, telling me it was real. I really didn’t believe it until Dana showed up, and then I was like "Oh shit… its not a joke".
I can understand why Wang didn’t want to go to Team Pulver, because the two teams really did start to click at this point. Everyone got along, but team spirit was very apparent. In particular, our team had really started to come together now that Gabe was gone. Practices were much better, and everyone just got behind each other a lot more.
The ironic part of the whole thing was Rob Emerson. Rob had lost two fights, but gave his 100% in everything from training to his fights. At the same time, he had been taking it easy because he was out for sure…. there was no way he would get a third chance before someone else got a second. So while Andy was getting kicked out for not giving 100%, Rob was riding a scooter around the gym, with a beer in hand and a cup duct taped to his scooter filled with Reese’s Pieces. You just had to laugh at the whole situation.
Then we have Wayne Weems. Not to take a shot at Weems, but I think of everyone in the house, he was the most technically behind. Wayne came from a wrestling background, but had pretty much zero Jiu-Jitsu or striking. I didn’t get a chance to work out with him because we were in different groups for evaluations, and he was on Team Pulver. From talking with a few of the other guys though, his wrestling wasn’t the best either. If you only have one strength, it has to be really good. You can’t be one dimensional and not have it be really strong. We all saw Weems as one of the weakest from Team Pulver and Gray was one of the strongest from Team Penn. We were super confident about Gray’s fight, and you can see why. Weems had this confidence about him that you don’t see a lot. When someone shows that kind of confidence they either know something you don’t, or are delusional. For Weems, he was delusional. He lost the fight, but he fought hard and never gave up. He was just outclassed. The only thing that bothered me about Weems was after his fight when he was in the kitchen, and he started ranting. "He never hurt me." "I would kill that guy, this is bullshit!" It went on for a while, and you couldn’t help but laugh. When its a real close fight, you can complain. When its a borderline early stoppage, you can complain. When you are dropped with the first punch, out positioned, pounded endlessly and show no sign of accomplishing anything… you really don’t have any room to complain about a stoppage. Wayne said he would still be fighting if it were up to him. Fortunately for him, it was stopped, because otherwise he would still be in that same position and eating punches with no sign of getting out. Everyone gets emotional after a loss though, so its not a big deal. The technical ability wasn’t there, but the heart surely was. You can’t teach heart, but you can always work on technique.
And of course… Mr. Indestructible Marlon Sims. Marlon claimed a lot of things. Of everything he said, I saw two things that were true. He said he was a great cook, which he was. The guy can cook! The best meals made in that house was stuff Marlon made. He said he was a chef in some restaurant, and I wouldn’t find that hard to believe. He backed that "story" up. Thats 1 real story.
Another feat Marlon claimed he could do, was eat a spoon full of cinnamon. Everyone was saying no way, so Gabe bet him 100 dollars, but Marlon did it. We didn’t have any money in the house, but Gabe was supposed to pay up at the finale. Whether he will or not, I have no idea. But Marlon did it, even when we all thought he was full of shit. Thats 2 real stories.
After that… it ends for Mr. Indestructible. Lets start with the nickname. He claimed he had never been knocked out by a human being. That was false, and was actually proven while on the show. I’m not sure if you can tell, but there is a peg board in the gym, that had large wooden dowel pegs. You could climb up the wall by putting the pegs in holes that were higher and higher. During one of the Team Pulver practices, Marlon was using the pegboard and started talking to someone and looking over his shoulder. When his shoulder leaned back, the peg came out and he nailed himself in the face with the peg board, knocking him out, and he had to go and get stitches. It was actually questionable if he would even be cleared to fight because of the cut. Fortunately, he it didn’t affect him being able to fight. I am calling shenanigans though… so we have 2-1 in favor of real stories.
Baseball. Marlon claimed that he would have gone on to play professional baseball, if he hadn’t thrown out his shoulder. He supposedly threw a baseball 93 miles per hour. I am calling bullshit on this one.
Street Fights. Marlon had a million stories on street fights, and how he would face 7 guys at once, and would beat them all and would never be hurt. Now if this were true, he would have to be fighting hordes of 5 year olds. Unfortunately for him, he was talking grown adults. To have 300 or more street fights and not once get hit with a blind shot, or have someone pull a gun or knife? I am calling bullshit on this one too.
His chipped tooth. He had two explanation for the same chip in his tooth. At one point he told us it was from a fight, and another time it was from crashing his motorcycle. Contradicting stories for the same chipped tooth… has to be a fake. Thats 2 real stories, and 4 fakes for those of you keeping count.
Motorcycle races. Andy Wang brought up how he had a bike that he rode at home, so in true Marlon fashion about having to outdo any story, he started talking about how he rode motorcycles professionally. I’m calling fake on this one too.
Thats 2 real stories, and 5 fake ones so far. But the best is about how is the most "lethal striker" and the hardest hitting guy in the house. He did a lot of talking about how he knocks people out and noone could stand with him. Then what happens when he fights? He comes out with a ridiculous stance, and is dropped with the first punch that Matt throws. Matt jumps on his back and chokes him out. Marlon talks about how it was a lucky punch. There is no such thing as a lucky punch, unless luck is Matt waiting for Marlon to drop his right hand and then hitting him on the chin.
My count is now 6 fake and 2 real… so maybe Marlon shouldn’t tell so many stories.
TUF5 Blog – Episode 2
by Joe Lauzon on Apr.11, 2007, under Blog
Episode 2 started with the Allen coming back into the house. He gathered everyone together like he was getting ready to say good bye, and then he says "If any of you guys get hurt, I’m still here." So while everyone was led to believe they had seen the end of the Lobstah, we learn that we will all be subjected to even more of the horrible accent. As Allen always tells us "The accent sells lobstahs".
Gabe and Wiman are having some problems. For whatever reason, Gabe is looking for excuses to have problems with Matt. Gabe out of nowhere starts attacking Matt and continues it even after Matt has left. Matt just wants to be done with it and not let fighting within his own team be a distraction. it didn’t matter what was going on, Gabe would jump at any chance to have problems with Matt. We could be at the house, in the van, training… it really didn’t matter. At times when we should be sticking together as a team to help whoever was fighting next, Gabe was starting trouble to steal the attention of the camera. It is pretty beyond our control as team mates to settle the problems, so bring it to BJ’s attention. We tell him how Matt will let it die, but Gabe is constantly finding new issues to have with Matt. We had a meeting as a team, and we basically agree to keep Matt and Gabe away from one another in training, and they just ignore each other around the house. Matt and Gabe are both ready to fight each other in training, but this is doing nothing more than costing us valuable training time. BJ reminds us that we are all we have for support on the show and we should be focused on fighting the Team Pulver guys.
We have the second fight selection in this episode. Team Pulver has control, but BJ has plans of his own. When we show up at the gym, BJ and Rudy are telling us all about the book "The Art of War" and how they want to try and influence Team Pulver’s fight pick . Corey was barking and grunting at team selections like a mascot, so we figure if Rob calls him out, he will have to accept the challenge. So while its their pick, we get a fight that we want. When Dana asks Team Pulver who they want to fight, Rob right away starts talking to Corey, "With all that barking you did, you better pick me. All that hooting and hollering you did, you better back it up. All that barking, show me the bite. You’re a dog. Let do it." Jens cut everything off though, and they stuck to their gameplan. Manny called out Noah saying, "I don’t like any of you guys, but there is only one that I hate". We really want to try and turn the tide, and get control of the team picks back. We need to do everything we can to prepare Noah for Manny. We don’t know a whole lot about Manny, but we are sure he fights a lot like his cousin Karo (another UFC fighter). The Team Pulver guys definitely seem like they have more of a tight knit team atmosphere. They don’t have team mates picking fights around the house or in the van. They are getting the most of their training time while we are trying to keep Gabe and Matt apart.
We got so bored in that house. We ended up on roofs and all kinds of other places. We would try anything to keep ourselves entertained. At one point, Rob sees some girls riding on horseback, and convinces them to come around to the front the house. This was fine, until the horse slipped on the driveway and couldn’t get up. I was sleeping during all of this, but it was the talk of the house for about a week about how Rob almost killed a horse.
Again, trying to fight the boredom, we are looking for something to do to kill time. On one of the walls in the house, we find a shield, and someone has the bright idea: Lets have someone hold the shield, and throw stuff at them. The first thing we thought to throw was one of the spears that hold the tiki torches in the backyard. Rob was fully ready to hold the shield for whatever we wanted to throw at him. Gabe is ready to throw a spear and I tell him its a better idea to throw this ball of duct tape that we made. Now I played baseball in high school, and I stopped when I started fighting. Thats for a very good reason: I can’t throw something straight to save my life. I nailed Rob right in the balls (however you want to word that). At once, we all dropped to our knees. Rob dropped because he just took one in the junk, and all of us because we feel for him and are laughing our asses off. We can hardly breath to even talk about it.
We asked for markers to write on walls and other stuff, so we wrote on one wall in the house "Team Penns supports and loves the troops". Rob took it upon himself to go into the pool house and write "Suck it Team Pulver". Now most of our team didn’t even know what Rob had put on the wall. Nate and Manny took major offense to it. They both felt saying anything about Team Pulver was a direct attack on them. It started off as killing time messing around, and almost turned into a fight in the house. Manny in particular wasted a lot of energy just screaming, yelling and ranting for a few hours, when he should be in bed sleeping because he has to fight the next day.
Manny sings, all the freaking time.
The fight between Manny and Noah, we didn’t really know what to expect. We somewhat expected a lightweight version of Karo, and that was what we got. The fight started off bad for him when he got dropped, Manny came in throwing bombs, passed Noah’s guard and got the submission. I think Noah was just completely overwhelmed. He came out of the fight saying: "If you don’t get off first, you may not get off at all". He is 100% right, and thats the case in a lot of fights.







